IPL

Just a bit of complaining is due after yesterday's torturous IPL game. Anyone who thinks watching an game live at the stadium is a wonderful experience, here are 10 reasons for you to reconsider:

1. It takes at least 90 mins to reach DY Patil stadium. That is if you know exactly where to go. Else you can navigate all around the confusing signboards and VVIP service lanes before figuring out how to get there. And the whole fuss about reaching at least 2 hours in advance is a complete sham. Feel free to come in at whatever time suits you.

2. Your e-ticket needs to be exchanged for a stadium pass. That means waiting in an hour long queue. And that too without cell phones. The organizers take special care to hand out passes as slowly as possible. Do you remember how staff passes were dealt out at Mood I?

3. Security - i was thoroughly frisked four times by various cops standing in a line with barely 15 feet separating each of them. I understand the need for security but four times pretty much amounts to groping! And the cops seem to love this frisking bit. Something eerie about this whole business.

4. Cell phones prohibited. I really wonder what threat could these possibly pose? Cell phones aren't banned at the English Premier league, at the Wimbledon or for that matter any sporting event that I know of. Then why here? What a massive inconvenience!

5. Refreshments comprise of watery cold coffee, mad donuts (i didn't see a single one purchased), odd tasting fountain Pepsi and melted gelato ice cream. So appetizing indeed!

6. The weather at DY Patil. Hot, sweaty and without a hint of breeze. That is unless you have have the rank and reach to get into one of those air conditioned box seats.

7. The view from the stands. 95% of the stadium crowd are at angels where they can't see any of the nuances that make cricket exciting: the line and length of the ball, the batsman's footwork, the spin and swing, the delicate shots. From the crowd cheers, I am pretty certain no one could distinguish between a wide ball, a caught behind and a slash and miss. The screens at the stadium are purely an advertising gimmick. Don't expect any replays!

8. The sounds. 10-9-8-7 countdown after every Max mobile time out. The high pitched pi pi pi pi pi siren thats plays every 5 mins (which for some reason elicits a roar every time from the crowd). The retarded MC with his cliched attempts to get the fans in a frenzy (ganpati bapa?).

9. The squabble for seats. Doesn't matter what seat number is printed on your ticket. Where you finally sit is entirely a function of what time you arrive at the stadium. Most people accept this reality and sit wherever they find a spot. Some decide to exercise their birth right and spend a good half innings creating a scene over their seats being occupied.

10. The game itself. There are certainly more one sided games in IPL 3 than in the first two editions. It took us 6 hours to get to our seats (starting from finding tickets, driving to dy patil, collecting stadium passes, finding a car park, grabbing a bite, security, etc) And Deccan Chargers rewarded us with a 35-5 within the first 25 mins of the game. We hoped in vain for some fireworks in the Bangalore innings. A 6 to 7 over finish would have brought in some excitement. But kallis took 32 balls to make 19 runs and Bangalore took 14 overs to win.

If you are really smart, you may figure out a way to get box seats. And if you are still smarter, you will just watch the game at home.